Her Name Is JOY

Her name is Joy.
She has a lot of UPS and DOWNS.
She is full of imperfections and insecurities.
Sometimes she wakes up and wonders if it really is worth it.
Sometimes she doesn't want to keep going.Sometimes she makes mistakes - the kind of mistakes she'd rather not admit to.

Her name is Joy.
She has a tendency to dream extravagant dreams.
She really does believe that everything is possible WITH GOD.
But, sometimes she's too scared to dare to dream and to follow those dreams.
Sometimes she'd rather just let time go by and not risk the failed attempt.
Sometimes she is so cowardly and so fearful and so unsure.

Her name is Joy.
She doesn't always feel the the way her name says she should feel.
She fights being sad.
She panickes when she thinks she might lose something.
Her greatest fear is rejection - it's something that has happened all her life.
She wonders will she ever be loved back?

Her name is Joy.
She wishes her heart would stop hurting; she regrets not taking better care of it.
She knows she is guilty of hurting others and wishes she could take it back.
Sometimes she hurts others because she is hurting herself.
She really doesn't know how to just be herself and always okay with that.
Honestly, she counts so much on the love and approval of those around her.

Her name is Joy.
She is so far from being everything God says she could be.
Sometimes she feels like a failure and a waste of great potential.
She has never thought she was perfect, lovely enough or too holy.
In fact, she is the only one who really knows the ugliness that lingers within.
She is so sorry for ever acting like she's got it all together.

Her name is Joy.
She knows that she is made in the image of God; He only makes good things.
She knows that nothing is too much too handle when God is on her side.
She knows that TRUST in God is the only way to understand His mysterious ways.
She knows that ALL THINGS will work out for GOOD.
She knows that JOY, true JOY can only come from God, nothing and absolutely no one else will do; and she tries with all her heart to live that through.

Her name is Joy.
Joy Lynn Sablan James.